Ken Evraire Archives - Ken Evraire | Team Lead Coach Consultant

Want to be a better coach? Become a supply teacher!

“Oh no! I am at the wrong school!!”

A fairly benign FB message from a friend changed my entire approach to coaching.

“Hey Ken. Have you ever thought of becoming a supply teacher?”

He was a teacher on the cusp of retiring. He also had no idea I was a member of the Phi Delta Dummy frat in university! Academic probation to supply teaching is a leap and a half.

Now keep in mind, this is almost one year into the Covid and I am running out of business procurement ideas.

Nothing triggers a retrospective, consider life as you know it moment like a global pandemic that crushes your business and leads to a tsunami like shift in your bank account while raising 3 kids as a single dad. Trust me!

After much consideration, I kind of inched toward the prospect of supply teaching. I completed the necessary online courses and threw my hat in the ring by announcing my intentions via a FB post. I am glad I did. The response was overwhelming!

I had no idea the need was so great. I had no idea the experience would be even greater.

“If I didn’t play football I would have worked my butt off to become a teacher. I won’t be going to teachers college any time soon but I have completed all the requirements to be a classroom supervisor!

To all Ottawa Catholic School Board principals I am ready to leave the bench and enter the game!”

My first teaching gig felt like my first game day as a pro football player. I did not feel prepared and I spent all of my time worrying about the 101 things that could go wrong.

I arrived at 8:50 am. Everything felt rushed. I had already made a couple of rookie mistakes. I didn’t drink any coffee before hand and I forgot the mouse for my laptop. The office was an express lane of confused energy. Teachers were away with Covid, kids needed to be taught and I was a hired gun with zero experience.

“Are you the supply teacher?” hurriedly asked a receptionist. I said “Yes” when what I should have said was, “Time will tell.”.

I barely got to the “s” in yes when she said, “upstairs, grade 2 French, room 227”. That’s it. I was on my own.

Now I stand 6′ 1″ and weigh a svelte 225lbs after 4 days of only eating salads. As a former pro athlete I like to believe I am still in fairly good shape. I like to believe I have a presence but in this case, I wanted to be smaller.

Everything told me to be funny to help ease any fears or tensions.

“I am Mr. Ken but if you like you can call me by my full name. Kenneth Russell Joseph Simon Maurice Evraire the 2nd!”. The room laughed. They were hooked! I was hooked! They were open to learning. To hearing me out. What a powerful experience.

I would not be there for a long time so I would do my best to make it a great time. Now, when I say not a long time I am being literal!

The first block of teaching flew by. As we began to prep for recess I received a text from the principal. “How is it going?”. I replied, “Great. I am having a blast on the 2nd floor!”. This is where things turned. She replied, “We don’t have a 2nd floor!”. I paused the kids recess prep and asked them what the name of their school was. In unison they answered, “Half Moon Public!”.

Oh no, I am at the wrong school!

I should have been at St. Benedict Catholic 6 blocks away. The lack of prayer in the morning announcements should have been a dead giveaway.

The kids didn’t want me to leave and I didn’t want to leave but I had another class waiting for me. In that I fell in love with teaching. I fell in love with setting our future superstars up for success.

Setting others up to succeed strikes me as being a very noble gesture. A gesture worth taking great pride in. Be it as a coach, boss, mentor, parent, manager or teacher.

Now before you point it out I know as a supply teacher you get a grace period where you can be the cool adult in class. The first day teaching is a confidence builder much like a successful 5 minute open mic comedy set. It doesn’t make you a teacher nor does a couple of jokes in front of friends and families make you a comic.

That is when you really get to do some coaching. Meat and potatoes coaching. This is where intuition becomes so valuable.

First and foremost, like any good coach you want to get a feel for the room. Walk in and step back. Don’t make it about you. Create a subtle trust.

Navy seals would prefer a guy beside them they can trust over a guy who is far more talented but untrustworthy.

You realize as important as the curriculum is, the vehicle in which you present the content is just as important.

Teaching fractions?

Introduce Rush playing Spirit of the Radio live and explain as best you can their time signature changes. Have them clap their hands to the beat.

Go on to tell them about Rush arguably being the best Canadian band ever and that says something considering the competition like the Guess Who, Tragically Hip, Blue Rodeo, BTO, Triumph, Loverboy, April Wine, The Band, The Downchild Blues Band and The Shmenge Brothers (my lone SCTV reference). Now I know Gino Vanelli is not a band per say but he has to be in the top 5 music artists to represent the maple leaf. That is a discussion for another day.

Teaching Procedural Writing?

Search on YouTube for Apollo 13 astronaut Ken Mattingly start up in the simulator and follow it up with NASA engineers having to come up with a way to fit a square air filter into a round one.

How about science and bridge building?

Introduce an image of La Sagrada Familia and tell them about your running the Barcelona Marathon and stopping for 10 minutes to just stand and marvel at the beauty of such an immaculate piece of architecture. Then go on to tell them about the tragic death of Catalan architect Antoni Gaudí.

Maybe you show them video of the 1940 Tacoma Narrows bridge collapse better known as the Gallopin Gertie!

Give your audience something to think about. Something that connects them to content. Create a water cooler effect. Leave them talking about what you taught them. Show them…don’t tell them.

Children are visual processors that tend to observe a parent’s or teacher’s body language and facial expressions before the content being presented. They learn through demonstrations and descriptions thanks to their having well-developed imaginations and often think in pictures. No surprise they get excited about learning when they see their teacher is excited about teaching.

Your goal is to have them share their experience.

As a teacher, give them something to share when their parents ask them how their day went.

As a coach, give your team reason to talk about their work and what they are doing. Professional pride is a powerful elixir.

When you coach, no matter the team and environment, do what you can to bring out the curious child in your team. Be excited about coaching and they will follow.

We are designed to connect, communicate and collaborate with each other. Its in our DNA! Coaching and teaching is really the art of bringing people together and figuring out how to set them up to succeed.

No matter the arena, stage or in this case, classroom!

——————–

Ken is a quintessential team player who loves coaching, team building and talking leadership! He is grateful for the opportunity to work with a roster of fantastic clients, ranging from the government sector to not for profit agencies, high tech start ups, Fortune 500 companies and elite sports teams.

When he is not coaching, he is father to 3 precocious children, has the best ex-wife in the world, is a former professional football player that has since donated his brain to science and has run 3x marathons (Honolulu 2x + Barcelona), done stand up comedy and believes the old school coach was wrong…there is indeed an “i” in Team!

Check Ken out on the following social media pages…

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/ken-evraire-leadership/

Twitter https://twitter.com/Tectonic_tlc

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tectonictlc

Death to Clichés

The global pandemic may have gotten to me! I have been triggered!

I have to believe I would never have written this blog 18 months ago. The odd thing is, the source of my trigger extends from a very unlikely, strange place!

Clichés! Yep, clichés! I said it! They are everywhere and here is the rub! I am guilty of using them as well.

I am part of a movement that uses clichés in a bid to stay connected to the audience made up of quick twitch minds scrolling through their social media platforms like a starving meerkat in search of its next meal.

The site Your Dictionary defines clichés as such…

“Clichés are terms, phrases, or even ideas that, upon their inception, may have been striking and thought-provoking but became unoriginal through repetition and overuse. ”

Unoriginal clearly being the operative term!

I scrolled through twitter for no less than 4 minutes and here is a list of clichés/jargon that I found.

Of note, in an effort to establish complete transparency, the final example extends from yours truly. Like I said, I am guilty!

The Magnificent 8

Authentic leaders lead authentically.
A man who has committed a mistake and doesn’t correct it is committing another mistake
Your problem isn’t the problem. Your reaction is the problem.
The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.
I would rather die of passion than of boredom.
The bad news is time flies. The good news is you are the pilot!
Leadership is like conducting a symphony. It’s not your job to play all of the instruments.
Why not you? Why not you! When not you. Why not? Give yourself permission!

I get it. Clichés are nice, cute hooks that can capture the eye of the reader.

Yet, like eating liver and onions, using clichés should be enjoyed on occasion! They should never be the staple of your diet.

It’s like the 80’s Faberge Organics shampoo commercial titled “So on and so on!”.

“Mystery Men”

Every time I read a series of clichés I am brought back to a scene from the movie released in 1999 titled, “Mystery Men”. The scene stars Ben Stiller in the role of impatient super hero Furious Roy and Wes Studi in the role as Sphinx. Sphinx relies on clichés and is pragmatic in his approach and Furious Roy is a want to get things done type of guy.

Belly Buttons vs Clichés

It’s been said that belly buttons are useless but I will argue that from a life giving perspective, belly buttons are kind of valuable. Far more valuable than a cliché that does not connect you to something of greater value. A belly button serves as a portal that could bring us the next great scientist, author, BMX champion, opera singer or YouTube influencer! A cliché on its own gives birth to nothing.

Throw a whole LinkedIn lineup of clichés at someone and a trite numbness inevitably takes over.

A cliché on it’s own lacks authenticity. A series of clichés do not inspire me to get going, they inspire me to tune out and take a good nap! I want some substance with my side of snappiness!

I played professional football for 9 years in the Canadian Football League. I learned early on that the coach or player espousing a bunch of clichés usually liked the sound of their own voice and was usually ill prepared for competition.

Could you imagine a professional football coach commanding the attention of his team before heading out of the locker room to do battle and saying,

“Fellas, fellas, gather around! Never forget. It’s a 60 minute game and the bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the PILOT. Let’s go get them boys!”.

A cliché may sound good but it won’t help you when a 230 pound linebacker is trying to put you and your rib cage in row 6!

Knowledge is power!

I have always been a guy who wanted to know the what, when, where, who and why! Leading, coaching and team building is not easy. It’s a competitive industry. It requires an intuitiveness that connects people on a deeper level. It demands authenticity, depth and generosity.

Being in the business of setting others up to succeed and celebrating the potential contribution others can make is the reward for those who have been bitten by the leadership/coaching and team building bug.

If we ask our clients to buy in and put the work in, regardless of the arena they compete in, the least we as leadership and coaching experts can do is serve as an example.

Include a link to something of value with the cliché. Add some meat to the potatoes! Feed your audience.

It could be a great blog post or a great video that expands on the idea presented by the cliché. So, the time is nigh! Join the revolution! Join me in the fight to ban the art of posting clichés on their own.

This whole being triggered thing is tiring! I am going to see if Mystery Men is on Netflix!

Stay safe and well!

——————–

Ken Evraire is the owner | principal of TECTONIC TLC Team Lead Coach.

He is a quintessential team player who loves coaching, team building and talking leadership! He is grateful for the opportunity to work with a roster of fantastic clients ranging from the government sector, not for profit agencies, start ups, Fortune 500 companies and elite sports teams.

He is father to 3 precocious children, has the best ex-wife in the world, is a former professional football player that has since donated his brain. He has run 3x marathons (Honolulu 2x + Barcelona), done stand up comedy and believes the old school coach was wrong…there is indeed an “i” in Team!

Check Ken out on the following social media pages…

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/ken-evraire-leadership/

Twitter https://twitter.com/Tectonic_tlc

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tectonictlc

Find Your Lobster Suit!

I never imagined wearing a lobster suit would turn out to be a game changer for me but it did back in 1989!

Fast forward 32 years later, and I sit amazed after booking my 500th gig!

Not sure why booking the presentation struck a sentimental cord with me but it did. Maybe it has to do acknowledging the power of a leap of faith I took 32 years ago! Maybe it has to do with my being 55 years of age, the changing of seasons or watching my kids grow up faster than wheat in Melville, Saskatchewan.

Worth noting, Melville was named for Charles Melville Hays, former General Manager of the Grand Trunk Railway which, if you know your 1970’s music, inspired the name of one of the greatest bands ever, Grand Funk Railroad. How is that for a water cooler fact!

Okay, lets get back my getting all sentimental! I believe it has to do with my sitting down and thinking back on the presentations that stuck with me through the years, presentations that stood out for a number of different reasons.

Presentations that captured the audience on a level I did not necessarily anticipate.

I always loved presenting to groups of inspired individuals and coaching people up.

Back in 1989, as a member of the Ottawa Rough Riders, I was often called on to host or attend events the organization would run or support. My boss at the time, Jo-Anne Polak, the only female GM in professional football and considered to be a marketing genius, decided the team should host a marquee fundraiser.

With her roots in the East Coast, it made complete sense to host a lobster dinner.

Great idea? To be honest, it was a good idea but to suggest it was great would have been a stretch. So, the team was going to host a lobster gala. The story doesn’t stop there.

In addition to the team hosting the fundraiser, she suggested I serve as the event emcee in a bid to add to the evening! I said yes and I did so knowing I was not going to get paid! Yep, no pay, which to be honest, I was okay with. Jo-Anne had become my official supplier of free game tickets so as gamblers say, her ticket supply and my working for free was a push.

The wild card in all this was the very real possibility that, as my boss, she could have me traded to Winnipeg in a blink of an eye!

Remember the part about her being a marketing genius? This is where the genius comes into play. She suggests I emcee the event in….wait for it…a lobster suit!

At first, I irresponsibly and irrationally said, “Sure, what the hell.”.

Then the reality began to set in along with a certain discomfort. I had no worry about serving as emcee but had some hesitation when it came to dressing as a crustacean. Now, I could have worn a suit and tie or a team sweater and pulled it off but I knew that wouldn’t work. I wanted to wear the lobster suit! I needed to wear the lobster suit!

It was meant to be. I was meant to wear the suit the same way King Arthur was destined to bare the sword Excalibur after it was handed to him by the lady of the lake.

Many of you are likely thinking, “Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”

I agree and I admit that was borrowed from the movie, Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

It doesn’t change the fact that the lobster suit and I were meant to be.

On event day, I was piped into the Civic Center Assembly Hall by the Ottawa Fire Department Pipe and Drum, and it was then that I knew somehow, someway, I would dedicate my energy toward presenting.

Rather than embarrassingly make my way to the podium on stage, I opted to walk in like I was the heavyweight champion of the world. I chose to own the room before I even entered it. I walked in selling the “I can’t believe I am the only crustacean in the room! How lucky am I?”

Before I even said a word to the sold out audience, I knew I had won.

Initially, the suit was a tad uncomfortable but not from the perspective of fit but rather from the perspective of the experience being so new. Sure there were stares of astonishment from everyone in attendance, including teammates and my girlfriend at the time, followed by laughter.

Yet, any concerns that I had were soon outweighed by what the moment brought me. Sometimes you need to stand up when everyone is sitting down. Sometimes, just sometimes, you need to be your own crustacean! Stepping out from the comfort zone and out of what we have worn in the past may be just what the doctor ordered.

Having Jo-Anne there with a smile of affirmation certainly helped as well. It wasn’t about the suit for her…it was about her confidence in me and seeing something beyond the football player. The power that comes with a combination of self determination and an authentic investment in a person is game changing!

Today, when I am not introducing, “There is an “i” in Team” concepts or tailoring client specific strategies, I am doing my best to help my children find the courage to wear their lobster suits and discard them after they have learned what they needed from them and move on to their next suit.

We are all going to spend our time doing something, so make sure it is something worth spending your time on. By doing so, you will find your “right place and right time”.

Wearing that lobster suit opened doors to experiences that went beyond my ability to catch a football.

Find your lobster suit and head upstream like you were destined to wear it.

——————————————

Ken Evraire is the owner | principal of TECTONIC TLC Team Lead Coach.

Check Ken out on the following social media pages…

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/ken-evraire-leadership/

Twitter https://twitter.com/Tectonic_tlc

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tectonictlc

The Fake It Til You Make It Trap

“How come nobody ever says they were Joe Schmo?”

Crash Davis – Durham Bulls Catcher

I have always loved this conversation between Susan Sarandon and Kevin Costner in the movie “Bull Durham”. Sarandon plays Annie Savoy and Costner plays Crash Davis. She teaches part time literature at Alamance Junior College.

He is a minor league catcher with the Durham Bulls who exists in a bittersweet space thanks to his being a very good minor league player but not good enough to stick in the majors. They are talking about reincarnation.

I share this video as a segue to the “Fake It Til You Make It.” for two reasons.

The first being the obvious comedic moment that extends from the idea that we were all famous in a past life and not just a key cog in the wheel of life.

The second reason relates more to his being a great minor league baseball player who holds the all time minor league home run record that he considers a dubious honor. Rather than realize that he is a craftsman he feels it is all part of a greater embarrassment. He struggles to admit that he he chose to invest his life for what was the greatest love in his life until he met Annie. He tried to fake his disdain for the record but at a deeper level he knew that he gave the game all that he could give and that he could live with that.

It lends to the idea of faking it til we make it.

Fake it til you make it! For the sake of space..let’s go with the acronym FITYMI moving forward. I must preface the rest of this blog with my admission that I am on the fence as it relates to FITYMI! Sometimes it works and more often than naught, not so much.

There is a devilish nature attached to the whole idea of fooling people, adopting the pretending until you can produce approach. It can make for a great story as long as it works out. If it doesn’t work out, consider it a stark reminder that putting in the work and honing your craft isn’t a bad idea.

Sir Richard Branson (founder of the Virgin Group, which controls more than 400 companies) thinks FITYMI is a viable option. Just get in the door and figure things out as you get going! Fact is anytime a “Sir” says something, people tend to listen with a little more interest and I did!

First and foremost, far be it for me to disagree with a guy who has enjoyed the success Sir Richard has enjoyed. In fact, I kind of agree with him. Faking it til you make it makes sense when you are in an “attack the learning curve” frame of mind. I think it could work if you are faking the role of entry level sales associate, data entry assistant or a client services coordinator.

Do not go with the FITYMI model if you are auditioning for the role of trauma surgeon, pilot, astronaut, explosives specialist and any other gig that you can think of that places human life at risk.

The FITYMI strategy has its flaws. Beyond the obvious flaw I just shared, the other fly in the ointment is that those who choose to FITYMI, are often not what one would call a go-getter. Maybe a go-getter in getting a job but not a go-getter in the sense of learning the job. If a candidate is willing to fake their resume, chances are they will fake their effort.

Human beings are creatures of habit. We have the tendency to get excited and race out of the barn like a Kentucky Derby Champion but soon become the workhorse out in the pasture that we actually are. I am reminded of my 13 year old self when I opened my first bank account. I walked out of the bank with $10 in the account with a steely eyed focus on saving my next $1,000,000. Plans changed when I walked into the corner store. My goal of becoming a good little saver did not stand a chance up against my 12 years of habitual candy purchasing. Wanting to be or do something usually requires work.

All successful people work. The clouds did not open up when they were born with trumpets resounding and a higher power declaring them great. They have talent and they worked. They worked really hard and were decisive. Somewhere along the way, they changed their approach to how they pursued success. They had to get beyond the definition of success and focus on the pathway to success. Successful people fall in love with the journey. They turn their gaze away from the trophy and turn their focus on the trials and tribulations that one must endure to get to the trophy.

Like an athlete building muscle memory, when you consistently opt for the “fake it til ya make it” approach, you will soon get used to faking it!

Before you know it…the faking becomes the norm and not the exception. Your original destination was the express lane but somehow you got stuck in the collector lane and you are comfortable there.

So, faking it is an option but it only bears value when it is a transitory step toward a greater destination. A step that requires work and an effort that extends beyond adequate.

FITYMI only works if you are intent on getting out of the faking it lane as fast as you can. It works only if it is a layover between where you were and your next destination. No one wants to spend time at Newark International Airport, Kennedy or LaGuardia! They are hubs that lead to greater adventures.

So, how do we avoid the fake it til you make it trap?

What does it mean to you? We are all going to spend our time doing something. Choose to do something that is valuable to you. Then hone your craft. The art of developing your expertise and the energy that surrounds that effort transcends any need to fake it. If you are invested you are a sponge. If you are a fence sitter you are watching life go by.

Game plan. Have a clear and concise exit strategy. Have a game plan that features hard and fast deadlines that will force you to get to the next level. Put some pressure on yourself to compete. Don’t get comfortable.

Be realistic. Set goals that you can reach. Expertise does not come in one fell swoop, it’s incremental and modular in nature. I remember back in grade 3 when I convinced my parents to buy me a geometry set. I vowed I would use every item in the case. I would use both of the set squares, I would protract with the 180° protractor, I would rule the class with the 15 cm ruler, I would never get lost thanks to the metal compass, and so on with the 9 cm pencil, pencil sharpener, eraser and the 10 mm stencil. As expected, I did not use all of them…in fact I barely used any of them. (of note, I had to Google all the items found in a protractor set!)

Change the Acronym: Rather than go with FITYMI…maybe go with another acronym? IIDFIDS – If it doesn’t fit, I don’t sit!

If the suit doesn’t fit then don’t wear the suit. Find something that fits.

There is nothing wrong with moving from one challenge that may not fit you to another that may. Sometimes, you will wear a suit that doesn’t fit. Do not get comfortable. Work hard until it fits or visit a career tailor the get fitted right.

Life offers very few absolutes. There are no guarantees. The most valuable commodity we have is our time. What we do with it will determine our path. Spend it wisely!

Know who you are and who you can become.

________________

Ken Evraire is the owner | principal of TECTONIC TLC Team Lead Coach.

He is a quintessential team player who loves coaching, team building and talking leadership! He is grateful for the opportunity to work with a roster of fantastic clients ranging from the government sector, not for profit agencies, start ups, Fortune 500 companies and elite sports teams.

He is father to 3 precocious children, has the best ex-wife in the world, is a former professional football player that has since donated his brain. He has run 3x marathons (Honolulu 2x + Barcelona), done stand up comedy and believes the old school coach was wrong…there is indeed an “i” in Team!

Check Ken out on the following social media pages…

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/ken-evraire-leadership/

Twitter https://twitter.com/Tectonic_tlc

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tectonictlc

Dancing With My Devil

“If you dance with the devil, then you haven’t got a clue, for you think you’ll change the devil, but the devil changes you.” ― J.M. Smith (Author) – “If You Dance with the Devil”

In what had become a reassuring habit I developed over a 2 ½ year span, I was trying to count the number of lights in the surgical lamps stationed above me in the operating room before the anesthesiologist knocked me out. The answer on this day was 55. There I lay, prepped for surgical procedure number 5 on my left knee. All part of an effort to get back into the game of pro football. The first procedure, the major repair of my torn ACL and meniscus, took place on Monday October 18th, 1993. All thanks to a less than heroic moment one week earlier on the Toronto SkyDome field as a member of the Hamilton Tiger Cats. It began with my brief chat with Toronto Argonaut receiver Jeff Fairholm as we went out for our pregame warm up. He stood with the support of crutches and had a full knee brace on his left leg. He looked like a cyborg! I asked him what had happened and he told me the turf got him. No one touched him…he had sprained his knee running a route. Nothing more, nothing less…nothing dramatic. What the mind believes the rest of the body will achieve. For the first time ever, I played scared. All because of that one singular moment. I should have left the stadium and hopped on a GO Train back to Hamilton then and there. Everything felt off after that. I had a bad warm up. I bobbled a couple of passes early on in the game. I remember telling myself to wake the fuck up before someone tore my head off. In the 2nd quarter, QB Reggie Slack called a play and based on all of the variables in the moment, I knew I was going to get the ball. I just had to run a great route and I did. Perhaps the best hook route I had ever run in my career. As expected, the passing lane opened up and Slack hit me right on the numbers with the pass. In a bid to avoid a heat seeking missile/Toronto Argonaut defender, I planted my foot into the turf and rather than pivot away to protect myself and the ball that I had just caught, my knee hyper-extended and blew up! Literally! To this day, I can still hear the pop! So could the defender.

Rather than take a moment to develop perspective and re-group, I raced to the operating room and the surgeons scalpel, all in a bid to get back into the huddle. All for a salary of $55,000 before taxes! As luck would have it, the one thing I do better than play football is build fibrous tissue. My body builds scar tissue. So much so that I endured 3 follow up arthroscopic procedures in a bid to clean the knee up, release the knee cap and increase my ranger of motion. Now I was looking at procedure number 5 and I kind of vowed it would be the last.

“There is a fine line that separates courage and obsession.”

In Chinese, the term Lingchi translates into “the slow process, the lingering death or also known as death by a thousand cuts”. It is related to a form of torture long outlawed. I wish I had known this as I lay on the field that day. For years after that misstep I put myself through my own form of Lingchi. Little did I know it was the first step in a long, arduous waltz with my devil. Rather than be a death of a thousand cuts, the dance was a death of a thousand rationalizations and justifications. With each justification, with each rationalization I became a better dance partner. A willing dance partner all in a bid to avoid looking at life beyond football.

What doesn’t kill you doesn’t necessarily make you stronger. It just kind of kills you and makes you more comfortable with discomfort.

As they carted me off the field, I knew my life had changed. The distance between my teammates and I was palpable. Sure, I knew I was never going to play football forever but I never really thought about life beyond the game until that moment. Every athlete needs to feel invincible. It’s why I would never visit a teammate in a hospital if he had undergone knee surgery. Any other surgery, I would be there with flowers but not knee surgery. I went from invincible to invisible in the blink of an eye.

In what is a tad ironic, two weeks before I blew out my knee I sat down with pen and paper and attempted to look at life beyond football. I was going to build my resume. The idea was inspired by my taking time to clean my one bedroom rental. As I cleaned up I found little brown packets. Two by my bed, 3 in the kitchen, 2 in the couch cushions and a single packet in my gym bag, another in my shaving kit. Within the packets were tablets. Toradol, percocet, naproxen and Tylenol 3’s. Toradol was my favorite.

If you look it up toradol is described as “a short term treatment of moderate to severe pain in adults. It is traditionally prescribed before or after medical procedures or after surgery. Reducing pain helps you recover more comfortably so that you can return to your normal daily activities”. Well, when your normal activities include getting run over by guys who take great pleasure in running people over, toradol was the perfect dance partner. At that moment, I was both excited and horrified. Excited that I found a stash and horrified that I was excited about finding a stash.

It was my scared kind of straight moment. It was time to consider my next life chapter. As I began to write out my resume, the panicked set in. I immediately realized that if anyone wanted to hire someone who, on 2nd down and 10 with time winding down, could adjust his route in a split second against a safety blitz, catch a ball in the red zone with a guy zeroing in on him with the single minded goal of wiping him out, then I was your guy. Regrettably, most HR Managers were not hiring anyone with those particular skills in mind. It was then I first felt an overwhelming sense of worthlessness.

In that failed resume building moment, somewhere in my sub-conscious I decided that I would dance with the football devil I knew intimately rather than embrace what I perceived as an unknown devil waiting for me on the other side. I preferred to dance with the devil I knew versus the devil I did not know. I had already sabotaged things with the assumption that a devil waited for me on the other side. I could not fathom that mere possibility that great opportunities awaited on the other side.

Despite waking up each morning feeling like I had been in a minor car wreck, I kept the chips on the table and opted to let it ride. I adopted an “it’s better to burn out than fade away” ethos. I convinced myself that sacrificing my body and mind for the game was a fair trade off with the football gods. Almost heroic! My hips were misaligned, I had torn rib cartilage the season previous, broke a couple of transverse processes in my back, suffered concussions, recovered from a torn quad that was not diagnosed until an attempt to drain fluid in my knee revealed blood instead. In addition, thanks to a helmet to the elbow earlier in the season, I had a bursa sac that when touched, would send lightning bolts through my arm.

To this day, I kind of believe I touched the 3rd rail on the train tracks and roasted myself. By playing host to the mere idea of preparing for life after football, I sub-consciously set myself up to fail. I created a chink in my own armor.

So, there I lay in the operating room desperate to feel safe in a game that was not safe. I yearned for comfort in a game that used competition to keep players uncomfortable. I wanted to feel a connection, an assurance that my devil could provide but I bought into a lie. The not so funny thing is, as the anesthesiologist sent me to la-la land, simplicity ruled. A new clarity entered from the fog. For a brief moment I admitted to myself that I didn’t love the game anymore. For a brief moment, I admitted that I hated the game.

The procedure, like the previous three, did not succeed. I registered for a computer programming diploma course. Now, nothing about me screams computer programming. It was a $17,000 mission failure. Funny thing is they gave me a diploma for coding. I think the instructor felt guilty and created it on his home computer using clip art. I tried on a suit that fit so many others but did not fit me. Not even close.

At that time, a desperate Hamilton Tiger Cat team called a desperate Ken Evraire. Can you run? I sure can! Can you help? I sure can! I would have said anything to get my fix. The devil asked me to dance again and my being a Ballroom Dancing World Champion, I could not wait to hit the dance floor.

Why did I go back? Why did I not leave it all behind? Like almost all long term, dramatic, emotional relationships, breaking up is tough. Neil Sedaka was right when he sang, “breaking up is hard to do”! So tough that we do all we can to avoid heartache. We try to work it out. We rationalize. We compromise all in a bid to stay in the same space or go back in time to when things were good.

This approach stands in direct opposition with our DNA and our need to dance with many partners that make our life chapters. Dance without giving up ownership. Change roles and take the lead! Fill your dance card.

Embrace opportunities…embrace learning.

The 1st stage in the 4 Stages of Learning is Unconscious Incompetence. Essentially, we don’t even know that we don’t know. At first blush, the term incompetence is negative in nature but if you look at it from a different perspective, a perspective of birth…of a new beginning, the term becomes our start line. We do not magically master something overnight.

We work our way from stage 1 to stage 2 (Conscious Incompetence) where we acknowledge that we don’t know, that it is okay and then begin the work of knowing.

Then we make our way to Stage 3 (Conscious Competence) where we begin to hone our craft on our way to mastery.

Once we have mastered the skill we have made our way to Stage 4 (Unconscious Competence) where we can perform the skill without thinking. Then we repeat the process with a new challenge in mind.

Once you ascend a mountain you don’t stop climbing. You look for a bigger, taller mountain!

In the book Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, William Bridges writes:

“Transition always starts with an ending. To become something else, you have to stop being what you are now; to start doing things a new way, you have to end the way you are doing them now; and to develop a new attitude or outlook, you have to let go of the old.”

Dancing with the same Devil over and over again forfeits your growth. To give birth to something new…something must end.

We are all going to dance. Find the right partner and when you do take the lead?

Ken Evraire is the owner | principal of TECTONIC TLC Team Lead Coach.

Check Ken out on the following social media pages…

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/ken-evraire-leadership/

Twitter https://twitter.com/Tectonic_tlc

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tectonictlc

Is anyone really uncoachable?

Whenever I am told someone is un-coachable, my first thought has never been about the athlete or team member who has been branded with the un-coachable title but rather my thought turns to one simple, singular question. “How was he/she coached?”.

The majority of coaches get the job done and they do so with great passion and patience. Their success is directly aligned with how they define coaching.

Power vs Empower

They see coaching as the art of persuading and empowering others versus the art of overpowering and securing position over others.

Successful coaches are driven by the singular goal of setting the table so others can optimize their performance and fulfill their goals. In doing so, you create the right place and time for the team. You create a worthy investment opportunity. The team will be willing to invest their time and energy to the plan. This reciprocal investment powers teams to success, regardless of the arena of competition.

From my perspective, with over 20 years of coaching experience and a lifetime of being coached, I have learned that coaching, when broken down to its purest form, is about getting excited about figuring out how to set their teams up for success.

How to connect, communicate and collaborate with each and every team member in a bid to secure their buy-in.

Micro Missions

Doesn’t matter if it’s a 1 person team or if it is a team made up of 100’s of employees. The art of figuring out what inspires your team of individuals via micro missions that are specific to each team member is the foundation of leadership and coaching.

Once buy-in is accomplished, trust is established. With trust comes the opportunity to become an authentic, decisive ally who can lead through new, unpredictable, unexpected challenges. Challenges that will require a tweak, an overhaul, modification or rebuild of the plan that directly affects the team and is embraced by the team.

Now, all that I have shared seems fairly straightforward and makes complete sense but you may be surprised that there are a lot of coaches who still don’t get it.

Football is Life

I coach kids tackle and flag football. I am a big proponent of teaching the game of football to the kids in a safe manner. I take great pride in helping the athlete become a student of the game and being prepared for the next level of competition from a concept and strategy perspective.

The kids begin their “training camp” in August. They are on summer break and are a different kind of tired than they would be in September and October.

The summer version of tiredness is a by-product of their staying up later and sleeping in. Their clock has been turned off. Fall tiredness has a lot to turn the clock back on. Having to go to bed at a decent hour, wake up on time, get dressed for school, get to school on time and be a student. The fall day is robust whereas the summer day is laid back. Come September, some of the kids become multi-sport athletes, taking on hockey or basketball.

So, now you have a sense of the kids “work” environment. They are invariably excited about tackling each other. At least for the first couple of practices. That all changes as the temperature rises. That also all changes when the temperature drops and there is less sunlight.

All are factors coaches need to take into consideration.

The norm is to have a couple of teams practice on sections of the field. So, we are all within earshot of each other.

The older team next to us had won a couple of games to open the season and to stay sharp the coaches had the kids hit, hit and hit some more. The kids naturally get tired physically which leads to mental fatigue which leads to bad tackling technique, turnovers and other errors. With visions of an undefeated season running through the mind of the coach, the rationalizing begins and intuitive common sense goes out the window. They hit when they were winning and they kept on hitting when they began losing in September. They were not beaten by better teams. They were beaten by a plan that did not evolve. Life gets in the way and the coach opted to continue to drive a square peg into what had become a round hole.

What made the team successful in early August just does not work in September and October.

I use peewee football as an example and I do so believing it mirrors what is the Achilles Heel of many businesses today. What worked yesterday will not necessarily work tomorrow, next week or next month. Life gets in the way.

Opportunity is Knocking

When life does get in the way it can be seen as an obstacle or as an opportunity. You can exhale and lose energy or take a deep breath and get excited about the opportunity

It’s like winning the lottery once and hoping the exact same numbers will come up again. The odds of that occurring are 1 in 20,358,520. It is not going to happen so you better look at a different combination of numbers…you had better look at a different approach to winning and do so knowing there is no guarantee that you will win.

Coaching is intuitive and unpredictable. Coaching is about factoring in the human spirit. Factoring in life’s perpetual motion. The never ending effort to create an authentic buy-in within an ever changing world. That is the mission objective.

Surfing the constant ebb and flow of life’s twists and turns requires a vision that extends beyond the office or locker room. You can have the perfect coaching plan and I guarantee you life will change it.

I guarantee you that one bad game, one bad quarter, one lost client, one failed presentation, one child’s emergency appendectomy will change the best of coaching plans.

Coaching isn’t a straight line from point A to point B experience. It’s a meandering, taking 2 steps forward, 1 step to the left, 2 more steps back to the right and 3 additional steps forward dance.

The fact of the matter is times have changed. The “when I say jump you ask how high” approach to leadership and coaching has fallen to the wayside.

The old school coach is wrong. There is an “i” in team.

A great team is made up of a group of individuals who are invested, inspired and invaluable. They work with a sense of integrity, are imaginative and play an integral role in the team’s success.

The un-coachable are individuals that have not been given a good enough reason to buy in. A great coach finds the reason and that reason and its presentation will differ from one teammate to another.

Human interaction, the ability to connect, communicate, collaborate and conquer is part of our DNA! Figuring out how to connect is everything.

If you are successful in connecting, you may have just turned the un-coachable one into the game changer you and your team needs.

Ken Evraire is the owner |principal of TECTONIC TLC Team Lead Coach.

Check Ken out on the following social media pages…

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/ken-evraire-leadership/

Twitter https://twitter.com/Tectonic_tlc

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tectonictlc

Friend first…G.M. second. My time with Jo-Anne Polak aka JP Superstar

I had forgotten that she was given the nickname, JP Superstar! Wow, how time flies. I may have forgotten her nickname but I will not ever for forget how she personalized professional football.

I of course refer to Jo-Anne Polak, the first female General Manager in professional football.

For the many who don’t know and sadly, for those who forgot, Jo-Anne joined the Ottawa Rough Riders in 1987 and was named the teams business manager in December 1988. The title should have been Business Miracle Worker! She became co-GM with then head coach Steve Goldman a month later! As general manager, Polak became the first woman to hold an executive role in the Canadian Football League and the first woman general manager of a North American sports team. She held the position of general manager until stepping down in November 1991. I first met her in the off-season of 1989. I was heading into the locker room for a workout and she was there hosting a tour and working on her latest marketing marvel to re-connect fans to a team that had under-achieved like no other. The team’s hopes had been placed on the shoulders of Canadian RB Orville Lee, QB Damon Allen and K Dean Dorsey. Lee was drafted 1st overall the previous year, Dorsey had returned after a stint with the Philadelphia Eagles and Allen arrived from Edmonton thanks to his connection with Head Coach Steve Goldman . The team also acquired warrior OL Gerald Roper and Rob Smith in 1989. Smitty beat Matthew McConaughey to punch when it came to not needing an excuse to go shirtless! All were significant pieces in the effort to build a team that could compete.

Truth be told, Jo-Anne inherited a 6 ring circus. I could go on about my teammates and their love for Jo and I could go on about how she changed the football landscape in Ottawa and how she excelled in what was an “old boys” setting but that would be too easy and too obvious.

Yes, when we got our pay cheques the morning after a game we would indeed race to the RBC on Bank St. and First Avenue before team meetings, to get them cashed knowing full well that there may not be enough money in the teams account to cover the payroll! Forever teammates but in that moment, arch enemies! Nothing personal but I got to get paid! Some guys got paid and some guys came back pissed off! Funny how you could pick them out in the crowd!

I could go on about the charity hockey game between the Rough Riders and the Perth OPP and how it got out of hand real quick, like at the drop of the puck. Ah, alpha males!! Jo was our “coach” and she got out from behind the bench real fast. As the competitive energy rose, she took on this panicked look on her face! She booked it away from the bench and into the stands despite our assurances that all would be fine. She arrived worrying about about branding and selling and was now worried about a full line brawl! Yes, Damon Allen always played the wing furthest away from the bench so he could extend his shift to about 7 minutes at a time and yes, Loyd Lewis would undo his skates between each shift and get riled up when he would miss a shift as he laced back up!

For me it was about her leadership under very personal and challenging life experiences.

The first came on July 5th, 1989. We had played the Toronto Argonauts the night before in pre-season play. Guys were on pins and needles knowing the roster was being cut down. I was in a special teams film session when I was told Head Coach Steve Goldman wanted to see me. There was a pause in the entire room. Was I being cut? Perhaps traded? I had a great training camp and had really found my groove going into my 2nd year as a pro. When I entered the office I saw Jo-anne first. I had laughed about a million times with Jo by then and when we looked at each other, she had an expression of sadness. I thought, “shit, I am gone!”. Steve was seated behind his desk. He was clearly uncomfortable so Jo-Anne took the lead and I think Steve and I were both glad she had.

That morning, my cousin David had been struck by a car and had passed away. He was working for a courier company and had been making a delivery downtown when the accident occurred. David was the oldest of 3 boys. His father is brilliantly funny! At social events, Uncle Gerry would make my dad laugh until his lungs fell out. Still does to this day! Aunt Claudette did her best to eliminate the hi-jinx, largely because Gerry’s humor was at the expense of french hockey players even though he and Claudette were fluently bilingual! David has two younger brothers, Shawn and Chris. Shawn was the quiet thoughtful one. Chris, known as Cricket and Boots, had more energy than anyone I had ever met. I didn’t get a lot of details when I was given the news. I just knew the loss was going to carry a lifelong magnitude that no one should ever have to experience. I know because I had a sister pass away when I was 4 and she was 5. Her name was ‘Jo-Anne”, and she was likely as spirited as my boss. Jo-Jo was riding a bike that was too big for her and she had fallen into a parked car, bumping her head. No need for details but I still cry to this day when I think about her. I imagine Uncle Gerry, Aunt Claudette, Shawn and Chris will always shed a tear for David as well.

Having Jo-Anne there, sitting close by as I called my Uncle Gerry, not knowing what to say or do will be etched in my memory bank forever. She wasn’t just about the bottom line and football. Jo was about the relationships. In the blink of an eye, she had earned my trust. She was a “show me, don’t tell me” type of leader! Always had been, always will be.

The second memorable, emotional moment came in 1991. I had established myself as a CFL pro by then and was part of a team that had a lot of potential. In the off-season, the team signed big name free agents Glen Kulka, Tony Cherry, the late John Mandarich, and David Williams. Some would argue that the team crossed the line in terms of the unspoken gentleman’s agreement that teams not sign other teams big name free agents. Some would call it the art of collusion! Coach Goldman and Jo-Anne opted to go big and create some positive heat around the team. The result was a vengeful group of competing General Managers. Fortune favors the bold but it could also come back to bite you in the ass.

We played Calgary on October 13th. I injured my knee and had anticipated being placed on the teams injured list. It was an eventful morning after the game because the team doctor opted to drain fluid build up in my knee. I was assured it would accelerate my return to the roster. When he drew back the syringe, there was blood and not the fluid he had anticipated. This was indeed good news. My knee was fine. I did have a 2 inch tear at the base of my quad but that would heal. I was going to miss some time but nothing to worry about. At least that’s what I had thought. Now, in the CFL, teams use re-callable waivers as a tool in building their weekly rosters. If a player is place on re-callable waivers and claimed, the original team can recall the player. Through all of this, the player has no idea all of this is going on. We are just a pawn in the game of football life! The fly in the ointment is teams can only place a player on re-callable waivers once a season. Now, if a player is injured and is placed on waivers, the odds are a team won’t claim him because they don’t want damaged goods. That is in a perfect world but things were not perfect between other teams General Managers and the Riders. Ah, yes…those vengeful general managers?

So, out of the blue, I get a call the next day from a guy I know from my football circle that I choose not to name. He is chatty with me than asks me about my knee. I told him that I would be fine. I explained the injury believing I could trust him. in football, trust, like contracts, is often broken. The next morning, I am called into Steve Goldman’s office. He broke the news that I had been claimed by the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. I was stunned. He went on to tell me that I was placed on waivers in a bid to hide me because of my injury and that Hamilton had crossed the line and claimed me. I asked him how that could happen. I then learned that I had been placed on re-callable waivers earlier in the season. WHAT! In a blink of an eye I was property of the Hamilton Tiger-Cats. In one moment, I was on the rise and an active community member and the next, I was an after thought. I remember flying to Hamilton and being met by absolutely no one from the team and staying at some roach motel in a sketchy part of town! What a disaster!

When the news broke, I went to my apartment to pack. Jo-Anne had been on her way to Fort McMurray for a charitable event with Bobby and Dennis Hull when she called me. Before I could get pissed off she apologized and was in tears which led to my breaking down. The transaction had not been her call. Our conversation, her dismay and apology was genuine. In that moment, I had resigned myself to the fact that I was no longer a member of the Ottawa Rough Riders but would forever be connected to Jo-Anne. Here is the kicker. She was going through her own difficult time as she and her first husband had separated.

I am grateful. Who wouldn’t be. It’s not everyday you spend time with JP Superstar. I know being the first female GM of a professional football team was not easy but she did it with one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding a diet coke with Wendy Lisowski laughing her ass off in the passenger seat!

The cool thing about Jo was she could sell. Whether it was kazoo or paper airplane themed nights or convincing me to wear a lobster suit and host the teams keynote off season fundraiser!

The next season, as a member of the Tiger-Cats, I paid Jo-Anne a visit with a couple of teammates in tow. No appointment necessary. We walked into her office, hung out with her and laughed. My teammates were astounded. Then, to no one’s surprise, Jo gave the guys tickets to the game so they could hand them out to people we met downtown. The guys added about 12 new female Tiger Cat fans to our fan base that afternoon while walking around Sparks Street!

There will never be anyone like JP Superstar! She had me at hello! Can’t say the same for opposing GM’s like Cal Murphy, Bill “The Undertaker” Baker or Joe Zuger! All great guys but don’t take this personal when I say, with Jo…it was personal.

I can’t tell you the score of any game but I can talk Jo-Anne Polak until the paper planes land from the top of the south side.

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Ken Evraire is an award-winning leadership coach and team builder, a talent specialist with Cistel Technology in Ottawa, Canada and is a former professional athlete.

To contact Ken email him at ken@kenevraire.com.

To learn more about Ken, visit his website www.kenevraire.com or visit him on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/kenevrairedotcom/ or on twitter https://twitter.com/kevraire17

Run Naked

When everything seems chaotic and confusing in my life I love to run naked!

I admit it get’s tougher thanks to the 5 knee surgeries and other football related injuries that have slowed me down but when I get a chance to run naked…I do so without hesitation.

When I say run naked, I mean it figuratively!

I didn’t realize I actually loved running naked until I began training for my first marathon back in 2004!

As sports director for the local TV station, I was afforded many great opportunities including running a marathon as a member of the Team Diabetes project. My mom was diagnosed with diabetes and I thought it would be a great opportunity to honor her.

Mid-week training sessions were fairly predictable and social thanks to running with groups of like minded people.

However, the Sunday long run training session was often done solo! They are called 10 and 1’s. You jog for 10 minutes then walk/stretch for 1. I loved this approach because it gave me a chance to take advantage of the new found pliability I enjoyed once my body was warmed up. The run would cover a distance between 15-20 km.

Listening to music made the run manageable. I could tune out listening to The Doobie Brothers, the Downchild Blues Band, a New Jack Swing mix, Earth Wind and Fire and others.

I intentionally stayed away from Enya and Celine Dion for fear of breaking down into an emotional mess 2km in! After each run I would limp away, sore and hating the experience.

Truth is, I was not getting anything out of it.

I hated the military precision like preparation that went into each run.

Along with my ipod, I would wear a hydration belt with 4 containers for Gatorade and a pocket for my Advil. I lathered on the sunscreen, always wore a hat and sunglasses and kept time thanks to my Timex Ironman watch.

Looking back I have to admit I am surprised that I didn’t bring road flares! I did everything I could to survive the run rather than embrace and enjoy it.

The funny thing with 10 and 1 long run training sessions is something always seemed to go wrong and it always caught me off guard.

I would run out of Gatorade. I would forget to check the weather forecast. I would manage to wear the wrong running shoes and just go ahead anyway. I would forget to take my Advil an hour in advance of the run. The worst would be my ipod dying!

Of course, it usually occurred early in the run and I would be pissed off and have to mentally wrestle my way through the workout.

You would think I would know better what with my being a former professional athlete. That truth really pissed me off! Throw in the jealousy when I saw every runner out there seemingly finding their zone and being locked into their experience and I was not a happy camper.

After mentally kicking my own ass and blaming the world, I had to reframe the entire mission.

Truth is I had far too many things to do before I even left the house for the run.

I had to go naked! Good bye ipod. Good bye last minute preparations. It reminded me of the first 2 years of my professional football career. I was so worried about what could go wrong. I was driven by imminent failure rather than the confidence that comes with problem solving on the go and minimizing the burden we bare.

Running naked meant the world surrounded me.

The world embraced me and better yet, I was able to really listen to what my body and mind was trying to tell me. It was connecting to what the purpose of my run would be that morning. It wasn’t always the same purpose but it was of always of value.

The first thing I noticed when I ran naked was just how energizing the external noise was. I was distracted in a great way. I had left my Maxwell Smart Cone of Silence realm and now had to listen to everything. It’s amazing how much noise surrounds you when you think about it. By sorting out the noise I could slow things down.

I spent so much time trying to minimize the experience and getting it over with that I missed out on the real beauty of the experience.

All of the fears that I carried with me…fears that seemed so unpredictable were no longer part of the equation. I was able to create a controlled environment or at least minimize the number of factors and juggle them.

By doing so I learned that I would release happy hormones which made the run an even better experience. Serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins are famously happy hormones that promote positive feelings like pleasure, happiness, and even love.

A wonderful sense of clarity came to be. That is what running naked did for me.

I discovered a symbiotic relationship between my mind, heart, surgically reconstructed knee, old tendon and muscle injuries that created imbalance and tightness!

I would listen to my breathing pattern than take steps to control the pattern.

Once I was in my lane physically, I could then turn my attention to sorting out all of life’s luggage that I brought with me on the run.

I am coming up with new presentation ideas. I am plotting new solutions that were nowhere near my thought process 35 minutes earlier. I am becoming a better parent, entrepreneur, a better everything all because I chose to run naked.

So how does this apply to my work as a coaching + leadership consultant and team culture expert?

I learned not to be afraid to face the noise. By attacking the noise and the traffic, you can work your way to a clear express lane that offers new opportunities.

Your problems are never bigger than your purpose but you can never fulfill your purpose if you do not stare down your problems.

Now, this doesn’t mean you need to take up running. There are a number of different ways for you to “go naked”. Once you figure out how to go naked, the real work can begin!

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Ken Evraire is the owner | principal of TECTONIC TLC Team Lead Coach.

Check Ken out on the following social media pages…

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/ken-evraire-leadership/

Twitter https://twitter.com/Tectonic_tlc

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tectonictlc